Oh boy, I must say this is something else. This is about various ideas of the sense of self and the discovery of human identity. Sort of. This is the sort of stuff that comes to mind when one ruminates in a room, while voiding one’s rheum, to oneself, late nights, sniffing charcoal from a neighbor’s barbecue with the window fan on.
everything is a game
everything is an addiction
everything is an obsession
every action compulsory
when i type for myself, there’s no need to clarify exactly what i mean. because i know what i’m trying to say. no sense of meaning when i type through my consciousness– only the sense of self.
i stopped before i tried to shoot her
and to prevent further abuse
i tried to back up my brain on the computer
but the file was in use
developed a program to develop programs
a language was the key
images of holograms
you cannot trust what you see
what if truth was subjective
and whenever you tried to do good,
reality denied you of positive action
and what you did was not what you should
i hate the heap paradox and the ship of theseus!
I can’t live with it and I can’t live without it, because there is no sense of identity, pointwise or otherwise! Technically, I am a certain percentage already dead (i.e. dead skin and hair) yet, I, as an individual whole, am simple alive.
And where does consciousness simply emerge from? Is there a quantifiable, definable, physical way we can judge the things we consider to be aspects of consciousness? I feel like I’m alive. I feel like I am. I think therefore I am. But what am I?
I already know I am without knowing what am I!
Bah, the definition of self through action ever since the realization of the arbitrary nature of human existence. How does that not please me? How can we find one answer to the problem of life without understanding the depths from which where it came? The psychological answer to these questions of philosophy may be, “it does not matter.” It feels like… Occam’s Razor. It makes no difference whether or not we know why we exist, because we exist.
All we are are particular particles. To a certain degree, we must accept that some molecules possess malevolence. How can atoms bomb a test?
I feel so insensitive. I am on a different wavelength. I am not feeling good vibrations.
And I say all this knowing that operating on the level I am currently, questioning humanity, makes me feel somewhat less human.
Deal with it. Fall out of the unknown. Be a computer. Calculate the complexity of the problem. The problem is not worth the processing time. It is inefficient to think so much about something so ineffective. What potential do you have to gain from thinking about such things, human? Make a game tree.
Problem: Life
Calculate Meaning of Life Live Life
Possible Gain (~0%) / \
Possible Loss (~100%) Do Something | Do Nothing
Can’t think clearly today. Not good. Reminds me of Pascal’s Wager.
Clearly, a human has many decisions, and many judgments to make in order to make a choice otherwise we’d just be asses.
The sense of self, in this post, is clearly closely associated with the purpose of the self or the identification of what one is supposed to do.
The reason why the search for action is the search for meaning is because one of the most demanding pressures being pushed on an individual through all walks of life is the search for definition in the eyes of others. How can you live in a society of people that do not respect you?
However, not only caring about the eyes of others, we must also be able to search for identity for our own eyes. Generally, when the world seems to have gone mad, we do not care about the opinions of people based in a separate reality from oneself. In this case, we must resort to standards of our own reality. This tends to be a rarity due to the natural formation of societies, which pride themselves of the intelligence of the masses. The exception to the rule, where the world has gone mad, is particularly compelling for existential quandaries in the literature.
We can elaborate many things on the sense of self with words and ideas, but not so much in the scientific and more quantitative. Psychological analysis would lead to discussions on the self as a logical construct of a mind in control of a body. Neurological self would be a series of chemical reactions. Philosophical self is a topic of discussion of morality and moral behavior.
As much as I like to ramble on about things I might think I know about, this post has exceeded 800 words, and I think it’s about time to wrap it up. I’ll stop wasting my time with vicious circles and references to wikipedia. Have a good day.
2 Comments
July 13, 2008 at 10:36 pm
The Cat explained to me that she was the center of the universe, it’s really much less confusing that way.
May 17, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I enjoy your writing.